Yes we inherit trauma and we can heal from it

As if it is not enough to face the challenges in one lifetime, epigenetics has shown that we inherit the unresolved issues of our ancestors. Each one of us has a particular fear or an inclination that is difficult to explain based on our life experiences. Many people believe it has to do with past lives. Science says it has to do with genetic inheritance.

Epigenetics states that traumatic experiences in parents lead to sensitivity in their children. It is thought to be the link between nature and nurture, where life experiences alter how the DNA is read in the cells.

In a recent BBC article, Martha Henriques reveals a model from the University of Zurich showing evidence of the RNA molecules altering gene function.

Brian Dias, of Emory University in the US, shows how mice that are trained to overcome a particular fear are less likely to pass it on to the next generation. He suggests that if humans inherit trauma in similar ways, the effect on our DNA could be undone using techniques like cognitive behavioural therapy.

What's the good news?

Transforming the pain of our traumatic experiences into something else like acceptance, growth, hope is not easy but it is worth it. If healing from trauma via therapy changes the molecules in our cells, it means that we will not only free our children from unwanted sensitivities but also we will improve our health. Less drama means lower levels of stress hormones that affect the functioning of our bodies.

Working on our own brokenness and seeking joy are even more appealing once you understand the invisible transformation that takes place when shifting our attention to kinder thoughts. Self-compassion is the key to living a happier and healthier life. If we had demanding parents who had themselves even more demanding parents, probably we are very hard on ourselves. Let us start with nurturing the inner child in us.

Once you have reached adulthood, there are no excuses for continuing to blame your parents for your shortcomings. You are the owner of your wellbeing. Seek help, search on your own or find a mentor. It can be spiritual or clinical, the choice is yours. There is so much information available online that no one who has an internet connection should remain stuck in a place of fear.

Learn to separate the past from your reality

Once you become aware of the inherited sensitivity you carry, you could use it as an excuse to remain stuck with emotional pain. What your parents or grandparents suffered is in the past. If you experienced trauma from your parents, know that they probably learned from their poor choices and grew into healthier human beings.

If you haven't seen your parents in a long time, you probably won't recognise them when you'll meet them again. People change and we tend to remember just one stage of their lives. What they did, even if it affected or still affects you, was their choice and there is nothing you can do to repair it. So let go of guilt and shame for things you didn't have control over.

Look around you and be mindful. Your past is not your reality. Leave it where it belongs and enjoy what you have today.

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