Under Heat and Pressure

The name of this blog is inspired by the hidden pain in women. Under heat and pressure is how precious minerals are formed. There are all sort of changes in the structure of matter at high temperatures, accelerated when there are forces that push in from all the sides. This is exactly what women have been exposed to during the history of humanity. And they have become the gem they have been for the past twenty thousand years.

When you see a smiley woman young or old, can you see the pain in her? She might have lived a very happy, almost perfect, life yet she carries the sorrows of her female grandmothers. Somewhere in her lineage, there was a woman under heat and pressure. 

In whichever society you live, any country, any culture, it is women who have maintained the family structure. For every mother who abandons a child, there is a foster mother who takes care of another. Beware of the impression that the men in a certain family are truly committed to their family. Their dedication might just be an illusion from the sacrifice of a betrayed woman. 

How are you to know if it is the man who has values or it is the woman who withstands his imperfections revealed by the patriarchal feeling of entitlement? How is a man to be a man at all levels of the patriarchy if there are no more women to let him appear as if he is? If all women spoke the truth, if only they could express their true selves, entitlement would be a thing of the past. 

It is mothers or sisters who keep secrets about the men in their family, it is wives who are afraid of what their children would miss if they separated from their father and the women who seek attention from men in committed relationships. It is like against like. 

Paradoxically, other women are the best balm to soothe the pain that is created under extreme conditions. Female friendships create a strong foundation over which women can rest and heal from the pain of their ancestors and from life. As life happens, loved ones die: children, siblings, parents and spouses. 

What's a girl to do when all seems lost? Reach out to another girl and be comforted by her maternal instinct and the sisterly love. Let us strengthen the bonds between the members of our female tribe so that we can all withstand the heat and pressure of life. 

Much love,

Nora